Couple of the Week – June Recap

1 Jul valentines day pic

These are the lovely couples that were featured in June as Couple of the Week. They all shared great marriage nuggets and wisdom.

Darryl-EveLynnDarryl & Eve-Lynn

Darryl and Eve-Lynn just celebrated three years of marital bliss on May 26, 2015.

Word of Wisdom to Couples: “If there is advice to be given to married couples, it would be this, first follow the fruit of the Spirit. Then listen – listen to what is being said and how it is being said.”

Michael-Alice

Michael & Alice

Married August 19, 2000

Michael and Alice have been married for 14 years. Their words of wisdom for a newly married couple: “I have discovered that understanding my personality type helps me communicate effectively with my husband. Wow! I should’ve taken that test 11 years ago! I urge newly-weds to save themselves years of frustration, communication breakdowns and personality clashes by taking a personality test sooner rather than later. Even if your spouse won’t commit to taking the test, take it for yourself and learn about personality dynamics and be flexible to prevent severe taxation on your marriage.”

PastorAndre-FayeButler

Pastors Andre & Faye Butler

The couple recently celebrated 39 years of marriage this past April. They stated, “the key to our success [in marriage] is persevering during the hard times which allows us to enjoy the good times now.”

If you would like to be featured as our Couple of the Week, email info@terrycato.com and put Couple of the Week in the email header. Include a picture of you and your spouse and 2-3 sentences sharing a piece of advice or wisdom with other couples.

Always a Bridesmaid!

25 Jun Cover1

I stumbled upon an article, Being a Bridesmaid has a Price that posed the question, why hasn’t someone written a book, a tell-all about the nuances of being a bridesmaid. I answered in the comment section that I had in fact written my memoir, No Longer a Bridesmaid which is a tell-all of sorts about the highs and lows of being a perpetual bridesmaid. In fact there is a section in the book called “Always a Bridesmaid” that discusses my personal experience as a bridesmaid for several of my close friends, the infamous list that most single women have, and my personal journey of how I prepared myself to become a wife while I was single.

Bridesmaid Image

This book was my first and I self-published it. In retrospect I sometimes wonder, maybe I should have pursued an Agent a bit harder to see if my first book could have been picked up by a big publishing firm; and have a shot at being thrust into the spotlight. In the big scheme of things, I don’t regret self-publishing my book, I do however regret that not very many people know that such an inspirational piece of literature exist. My prayer has always been that despite being a relatively unknown author that my book would be read by those who needed it. I echo the sentiment that was expressed by a small press owner who read my book – to give professional feedback – the only bad thing she could say was that not very many people knew that the book even exist.

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Professional Bridesmaid 

21 Jun

 Brides hiring a professional maid-of-honor is a new trend. Would you hire a professional bridesmaid? Why or why not?

Homer and Marge Separating!

11 Jun HomerAndMarge_banner

HomerAndMarge_notDivorcingOh say it ain’t so, Homer and Marge are separating! I must admit, I’m not a huge fan of the show, but I was disappointed to hear that Homer and Marge after 26 blissful seasons [years] of love were going to finally call it quits. Show Producers were quick to address rumors that the couple was not divorcing – nonetheless, the news still has fans in an uproar.

Rumor mill has it, the couple is calling it quits because of another woman and Homer’s narcolepsy. Talk about art imitating life. The other woman, and in some cases man, has been the downfall of too many marriages. Infidelity has long been cited as one of the top reasons for divorce. This reminds me of a previous blog post that I did, The 80/20 Rule; most people stray from their “80” chasing after “20”, only to find out that in any relationship there will be problems or issues – it takes two people committed to working through the good and bad times that makes any relationship work – not jumping ship when times get hard.

HomerAndMarge_image

Whatever motivated the Producers to go this route, one thing is for sure – they have created a media fire storm. Some fans predict that they are about to kill the show and others predict the separation will be short-lived. Either way, they have peaked everyone’s interest and have boosted their initial ratings.

Here Comes the Bride!

7 May Bride_happyBride

She had the perfect wedding dress picked out, had chosen the date and reserved the facility, and among other things had handpicked all the bridesmaids to be in her perfect wedding. All the details had been carefully thought out and planned. The only problem is – her groom-to-be was still married! Yes, you read what you thought you read – her fiancé was already married.

married-couple 3

Several years ago, I was visiting with a dear friend and she shared with me that she had just witnessed an unbelievable chain of events unfold as she was one of the bridesmaids. She explained that a friend, had asked her to be in her wedding – she willingly accepted. Purchased a bridesmaid dress, helped plan and attended the bridal shower – but she like many others, were asking the excited bride-to-be, “who is your fiancé? Who is the lucky man?! Do we know him, have we ever seen him?” The bride-to-be was super secretive about her groom-to-be and for good reason. Many bridesmaids speculated that he was a professional athlete or famous entertainer, others wondered, was he in the military away at war. When his identity was finally revealed a couple of weeks before the wedding was supposed to take place, everyone was shocked and appalled to learn that her “fiancé” was already happily married.

married-couple 2As friends pressed her for answers, the bride-to-be asserted that she was believing God that this man was going to get a divorce and ask her to marry him. As close friends of the bride-to-be learned more and more details of the story, they asked does he know any of this? Her response was, “no, I ‘m believing God.” Needless to say, the wedding did not take place and the “fiancé” asserted that he loved his wife and had no intentions of divorcing her – to say that he was shocked and appalled at what he learned is an understatement.

When I was single and believing God for a husband, I actually had picked out the colors that I wanted, knew that I wanted to have a small intimate ceremony and actually had a wedding dress. The dress was by default because I was engaged, purchased a dress – then became unengaged and could not sell the dress.

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What are your thoughts? How far is too far when a single woman begins to plan the details of her wedding, but has no fiancé?

Couple of the Week Recap

30 Apr WeddingBands

April Recap

The couples profiled in April were everything inspiring and loving. Here’s a recap:

Lloyd & Terry
Married April 2, 2005

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Marriage Nugget: “Choose your battles and your words wisely; there is no secret to a solid marriage foundation other than two people committed to making it work through thick and thin”  Continue reading

Loving Your Spouse through a Chronic Illness

22 Apr 010_7

When a couple recites their wedding vows and repeats the line “in sickness and in health, ‘til death do us part”. I’m sure rarely, if ever, do they think that they may actually find themselves or their spouse suffering from a chronic illness. They like many of us, go through the motions of the moment without fully considering the “what if”. Someone very close to me, my husband’s sister recently received a kidney transplant. Everyone close to her was simply overwhelmed with joy because what we had been praying and believing God for had finally happened! Prior to receiving her transplant, my sister-in-law had been on dialysis for over 10 years. After numerous hospital stays, medical procedures and doctor’s visits she finally got the call that so many never receive – that there was a donor. One person’s tragedy – another person’s blessing.

I asked my sister-in-law and her husband to share with couples words of wisdom and encouragement should they find themselves in a situation where they are either battling a chronic illness or married to someone who is. Continue reading

Ask Terry

31 Mar Ask Terry

March 31, 2015

Dear Terry,

After a major break-up or heartbreak, how long should you allow yourself [to heal] before you re-enter the dating scene?

-Heartbroken & Lonely

 

Dear sad woman_red topHeartbroken & Lonely,

The healing process is different for each individual. With that before you venture into a new relationship, be sure that you have healed completely from your last break-up. The last thing you would want to do is to bring baggage from a previous relationship into a new relationship. I highly caution against rushing into a new relationship to help you get over a previous relationship – this will only compound your problems. Each relationship deserves a clean slate.

Couple of the Week

26 Mar Relationships411_Twi

I recently began featuring inspiring couples on the Relationships-411 Facebook page in hopes of encouraging others who may be struggling or experiencing a low-point in their own marriage or relationship. My motivating reason for doing this is that I believe we can all learn from each other – no one person knows everything there is to know regarding successful relationship building – everything is not for everybody. Therefore, profiling couples from different backgrounds who are at varying stages of marriage gives a different perspective and flavor to marriage advice and best practices. Below is a re-cap of the couples who were profiled in March:

Sedgwick & Lykiska

Married July 13, 2014

Sedgwick-LykiskaAdvice to newly married couples: be certain your marriage is a move of God and not a move of emotions; marriage consists of 3 people: God, husband and wife – anyone else should be divorced; both spouses must be deeply rooted in Christ to have a successful marriage; and we tend to prepare for the engagement and wedding but fail to prepare for the marriage.

 

 

 

Steve-Karen_mainImage

 

Minister Steve & Karen

Married March 19, 1985

Steve and Karen, recenSteve-Karen_collagetly celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary. The couple has been together since they were Freshmen in high school. Their advice to couples: keep God first, work as a team in all matters, keep the communication flowing and keep the bedroom hot!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Pastor Mark & Twila

Married June 18, 1988

Mark-TwilaMark and Twila’s advice to other couples: find mature Godly couples to gleen from in good and difficult times; friends that have a marriage with evidence of spiritual fruit, not a perfect marriage, but a marriage that reflects the characteristics of our Father –  patience, love, peace, etc…

Sharing with those you trust and who genuinely care for you and your spouse is one of the greatest blessings to aide in building a strong and long lasting marriage.

“Without advice plans go wrong, but with many advisers they succeed.” Proverbs 15:22 GOD’S WORD® Translation

Blair and Breanna

Married July 5, 2014

Blair-Breanna Advice to other couples: always be accountable for the part that you play in the relationship, and support and assist one another in being the best you can be.

If you would like to be featured as one of our Couples of the Week, please email a photo of you, your spouse and 2-3 sentences with a statement of advice that you would give to another couple on how to make their marriage last, info@terrycato.com.          Blair-Breanna_FBimage

Sedgwick-Lykiska_FBimageMark-Twila_FBimageSteve-Karen_FBimage

5 Reasons Why I Hate Valentine’s Day

22 Feb valentines day pic

RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU HATE VALENTINE’S DAY. Now that we are a little more than a week removed from Valentine’s Day – I must make a confession – I don’t particularly like, in fact, I hate Valentine’s Day. But, I like so many others, feel the pressure to participate in a forced day to show my love and appreciation for my loved ones!

ValentinesDay_ILoveYou2The sentiment of love and appreciation that is expressed on February 14 should be shown through-out the year. And me personally, I try to do just that – show my loved ones that I appreciate and love them randomly and authentically when I feel the unction to do so – and hate that I fall prey every year to the pressure to conform and participate in the highly commercial Valentine’s Day! I get it, not everyone is romantic, and not everyone will go the extra to express their feelings to their loved ones – so, we as a society need a designated day to do so. I’m not a modern day Scrooge, just a realist. I have my reasons for my strong disdain of V-Day. Continue reading

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