Here Comes the Bride!

7 May Bride_happyBride

She had the perfect wedding dress picked out, had chosen the date and reserved the facility, and among other things had handpicked all the bridesmaids to be in her perfect wedding. All the details had been carefully thought out and planned. The only problem is – her groom-to-be was still married! Yes, you read what you thought you read – her fiancé was already married.

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Several years ago, I was visiting with a dear friend and she shared with me that she had just witnessed an unbelievable chain of events unfold as she was one of the bridesmaids. She explained that a friend, had asked her to be in her wedding – she willingly accepted. Purchased a bridesmaid dress, helped plan and attended the bridal shower – but she like many others, were asking the excited bride-to-be, “who is your fiancé? Who is the lucky man?! Do we know him, have we ever seen him?” The bride-to-be was super secretive about her groom-to-be and for good reason. Many bridesmaids speculated that he was a professional athlete or famous entertainer, others wondered, was he in the military away at war. When his identity was finally revealed a couple of weeks before the wedding was supposed to take place, everyone was shocked and appalled to learn that her “fiancé” was already happily married.

married-couple 2As friends pressed her for answers, the bride-to-be asserted that she was believing God that this man was going to get a divorce and ask her to marry him. As close friends of the bride-to-be learned more and more details of the story, they asked does he know any of this? Her response was, “no, I ‘m believing God.” Needless to say, the wedding did not take place and the “fiancé” asserted that he loved his wife and had no intentions of divorcing her – to say that he was shocked and appalled at what he learned is an understatement.

When I was single and believing God for a husband, I actually had picked out the colors that I wanted, knew that I wanted to have a small intimate ceremony and actually had a wedding dress. The dress was by default because I was engaged, purchased a dress – then became unengaged and could not sell the dress.

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What are your thoughts? How far is too far when a single woman begins to plan the details of her wedding, but has no fiancé?

Couple of the Week Recap

30 Apr WeddingBands

April Recap

The couples profiled in April were everything inspiring and loving. Here’s a recap:

Lloyd & Terry
Married April 2, 2005

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Marriage Nugget: “Choose your battles and your words wisely; there is no secret to a solid marriage foundation other than two people committed to making it work through thick and thin”  Continue reading

Loving Your Spouse through a Chronic Illness

22 Apr 010_7

When a couple recites their wedding vows and repeats the line “in sickness and in health, ‘til death do us part”. I’m sure rarely, if ever, do they think that they may actually find themselves or their spouse suffering from a chronic illness. They like many of us, go through the motions of the moment without fully considering the “what if”. Someone very close to me, my husband’s sister recently received a kidney transplant. Everyone close to her was simply overwhelmed with joy because what we had been praying and believing God for had finally happened! Prior to receiving her transplant, my sister-in-law had been on dialysis for over 10 years. After numerous hospital stays, medical procedures and doctor’s visits she finally got the call that so many never receive – that there was a donor. One person’s tragedy – another person’s blessing.

I asked my sister-in-law and her husband to share with couples words of wisdom and encouragement should they find themselves in a situation where they are either battling a chronic illness or married to someone who is. Continue reading

Ask Terry

31 Mar Ask Terry

March 31, 2015

Dear Terry,

After a major break-up or heartbreak, how long should you allow yourself [to heal] before you re-enter the dating scene?

-Heartbroken & Lonely

 

Dear sad woman_red topHeartbroken & Lonely,

The healing process is different for each individual. With that before you venture into a new relationship, be sure that you have healed completely from your last break-up. The last thing you would want to do is to bring baggage from a previous relationship into a new relationship. I highly caution against rushing into a new relationship to help you get over a previous relationship – this will only compound your problems. Each relationship deserves a clean slate.

Couple of the Week

26 Mar Relationships411_Twi

I recently began featuring inspiring couples on the Relationships-411 Facebook page in hopes of encouraging others who may be struggling or experiencing a low-point in their own marriage or relationship. My motivating reason for doing this is that I believe we can all learn from each other – no one person knows everything there is to know regarding successful relationship building – everything is not for everybody. Therefore, profiling couples from different backgrounds who are at varying stages of marriage gives a different perspective and flavor to marriage advice and best practices. Below is a re-cap of the couples who were profiled in March:

Sedgwick & Lykiska

Married July 13, 2014

Sedgwick-LykiskaAdvice to newly married couples: be certain your marriage is a move of God and not a move of emotions; marriage consists of 3 people: God, husband and wife – anyone else should be divorced; both spouses must be deeply rooted in Christ to have a successful marriage; and we tend to prepare for the engagement and wedding but fail to prepare for the marriage.

 

 

 

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Minister Steve & Karen

Married March 19, 1985

Steve and Karen, recenSteve-Karen_collagetly celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary. The couple has been together since they were Freshmen in high school. Their advice to couples: keep God first, work as a team in all matters, keep the communication flowing and keep the bedroom hot!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Pastor Mark & Twila

Married June 18, 1988

Mark-TwilaMark and Twila’s advice to other couples: find mature Godly couples to gleen from in good and difficult times; friends that have a marriage with evidence of spiritual fruit, not a perfect marriage, but a marriage that reflects the characteristics of our Father –  patience, love, peace, etc…

Sharing with those you trust and who genuinely care for you and your spouse is one of the greatest blessings to aide in building a strong and long lasting marriage.

“Without advice plans go wrong, but with many advisers they succeed.” Proverbs 15:22 GOD’S WORD® Translation

Blair and Breanna

Married July 5, 2014

Blair-Breanna Advice to other couples: always be accountable for the part that you play in the relationship, and support and assist one another in being the best you can be.

If you would like to be featured as one of our Couples of the Week, please email a photo of you, your spouse and 2-3 sentences with a statement of advice that you would give to another couple on how to make their marriage last, info@terrycato.com.          Blair-Breanna_FBimage

Sedgwick-Lykiska_FBimageMark-Twila_FBimageSteve-Karen_FBimage

5 Reasons Why I Hate Valentine’s Day

22 Feb valentines day pic

RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU HATE VALENTINE’S DAY. Now that we are a little more than a week removed from Valentine’s Day – I must make a confession – I don’t particularly like, in fact, I hate Valentine’s Day. But, I like so many others, feel the pressure to participate in a forced day to show my love and appreciation for my loved ones!

ValentinesDay_ILoveYou2The sentiment of love and appreciation that is expressed on February 14 should be shown through-out the year. And me personally, I try to do just that – show my loved ones that I appreciate and love them randomly and authentically when I feel the unction to do so – and hate that I fall prey every year to the pressure to conform and participate in the highly commercial Valentine’s Day! I get it, not everyone is romantic, and not everyone will go the extra to express their feelings to their loved ones – so, we as a society need a designated day to do so. I’m not a modern day Scrooge, just a realist. I have my reasons for my strong disdain of V-Day. Continue reading

The Sad State of Relationships

31 Jan Ask Terry

WeddingBandsThe past several days have been interesting as it relates to relationships. I have been tagged to and asked for my opinion on the popular “fake boy/girlfriend app”, the 40-year old woman who married herself, and the text message relationship trend. Every time I hear about something different, outlandish or odd, I think, “well that’s about as far as it goes” then I hear about something else that pushes the envelope. I always say that everything is not for everybody and variety is nice. However, with the recent trends in relationships, I honestly don’t know where we as a society are going. Continue reading

A New Year, A New You …

1 Jan Career Woman_4

2015ImageA NEW YEAR, A NEW YOU. Out with the old and in with the new! The beginning of a new year is the time when most of us make resolutions to be better in the new year than we have been in the past. Some people promise to quit smoking, others assert that they will eat healthier and go to the gym more and my classic resolution is that I would commit to being on time.

This is also the time of year where it seems like everyone is getting engaged – over the Christmas holiday through Valentine’s Day, the number of couples who become engaged seems to quadruple. For many who are single and desire to be married, this can be a difficult time. Continue reading

2014 in review …Thanks for being a part of it!

31 Dec

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 5,800 times in 2014. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

25 Dec Christmas Cheer

Christmas_haveYourselfAMerry“Have yourself a merry little Christmas.” For some people, this is easier said than done. The holidays can be a sad and depressing time for many. Reminiscing thoughts of deceased loved ones, empty nesters with no children at home, or just no close family to enjoy has caused many to dread the holidays. This is quite understandable, the holidays are not the same if you’re not spending them with the ones you love.

sad woman_red topA few tips to help you get through the season include: 1) hosting a game night with close friends who may be similarly situated, what better way to uplift each other than to spend time with others who understand your situation and you theirs; 2) do not turn down invites to join another family at their gathering, if you do not have family close enough to visit with or you just are not close with your own family, sometimes spending time with others and their family can help fill this void. We are social beings interacting with others in a positive way during the holidays is a great way to combat loneliness and 3) volunteer at a shelter or other non-profit that serve the homeless, sometimes we may feel down and out and all it takes is for us to see someone else a little worse off than we are to realize that we are truly blessed. Oftentimes, we simply need to stop, look around and appreciate what we do have instead of focusing on what we do not have.

Christmas image_redSo, have yourself a merry little Christmas and a HAPPY NEW YEAR.

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!” Luke 2:14

 

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